It is not possible to have a life that is free from stress.  Stress gives energy to our lives. It provides the catalyst to keep us constantly challenged and to help us grow and change. When we successfully conquer stressful situations, we gain a feeling of competence, which in turn increases our self-esteem.  On the down side, when not properly handled, stress can leave us feeling drained, defeated, and incompetent. The dictionary definition of stress is basically “to subject to physical or mental pressure, tension, or strain.” Stress occurs when we are challenged to utilize all of your resources to reach a solution. How we respond to stress is based on a number of factors.  How we were raised to view and deal with stress plays a major role in how you will react to it.  In addition, personality traits that we are born with will influence our tolerance level.  Overall, our ability to cope is influenced by both learned coping skills and biological factors. Even if you never learned positive ways of coping with stress as a child, you can learn these skills in adulthood.  Keep in mind that old habits are hard to break, so be patient with yourself, and realize that smalls steps lead to bigger steps.

Some things you can do to help you deal better with life stressors are to take care of yourself such as maintaining a proper diet and exercise regimen. Have daily rituals for relaxation and have a safe place you can retreat to recharge your energies when needed. Create a haven at home and work. Personalize your space to create a soothing, safe environment. Most importantly, slow down!  Don’t rush from one activity to another or feel your day must be packed with activities.  Your body needs down time.  Spend some time in complete silence and solitude, letting your thoughts flow and expand.  Find positive activities you enjoy and do them as often as you can.  Create a strong social support system.  Sometimes hearing another’s perspective on a problem can open your mind to new possibilities.  Learn relaxation techniques and other tools to assist you when feeling stressed. Try not to get so caught up in the past or future that you’re not appreciating what you have in the present.  Plan for the future, make peace with your past, but realize that the present moment is the only reality you can be assured of living- so treasure it. When you learn to relax and enjoy the small things in your life, you learn to prioritize the things that really matter.

Many people insist that they can’t slow down or don’t have time to incorporate a self care regimen in their lives. You would be surprised to know that you can slow down and things will get done. In our busy lives, we often think if we are not running around, and moving fast, that time is wasted.  However, time is really wasted due to poor organizational skills. When you rush through things, you tend to make mistakes, often having to go back and redo something twice. The old adage “haste makes waste” really is true.   Plan your day to maximize your time. Many times we create extra trips or work for ourselves, because of poor planning.  Things tend to go better for us when we are organized.  Get up a little earlier in the morning, so you can start your day relaxed and slow.  Establish a relaxing morning ritual, as opposed to frantically rushing around your house to avoid being late. Listen to your favorite music or books on tape on your way to work.  Take a scenic route, making your drive enjoyable. Devise a fun car game or songs you can sing with your kids. You set the tone for your day, based on how you start your morning. You will soon notice that life is calmer and you will be better able to handle unexpected stress, when you make slight changes in your daily patterns.

Once you accept the fact that stress is a part of living in our society, you can take steps to reduce the stressors in your life, and also learn ways that help you deal with the unavoidable stressors you will experience. Stress is impossible to avoid, but possible to handle, when you create a soothing environment for yourself, and are equipped with coping skills and support.